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Useful Statements for your next staff meeting
1. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
2. How about never? Is that good for you?
3. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4. I'm really easy to get along with once everyone learns to see it my way.
5. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
6. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
7. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
8. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
9. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
10. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
11. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
12. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a ######.
13. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
14. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
15. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
16. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
17. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
18. What am I? A magnet for freaks?
19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
20. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
21. And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be.....?
22. Do I look like a people person?
2. How about never? Is that good for you?
3. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4. I'm really easy to get along with once everyone learns to see it my way.
5. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
6. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
7. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
8. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
9. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
10. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
11. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
12. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a ######.
13. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
14. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
15. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
16. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
17. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
18. What am I? A magnet for freaks?
19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
20. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
21. And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be.....?
22. Do I look like a people person?
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