The differences between WIFE and GIRLFRIEND

[oldman35]

The Boy wrote to his daddy:
What are the differences between WIFE and GIRLFRIEND, Dad?
His Daddy replies: My dear, Wife is a TV. Girl friend is a Hand Phone. At home watch TV. Go out, bring Hand Phone. No money, sell TV. Got money, change Hand Phone. Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with Hand Phone. TV is free for life. But Hand Phone, if you don't pay, services will be TERMINATED!!!
But u should be careful with both, my dear son.

[zendo]

Haha. Sounds true. Good humor joke.

[oldman35]

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"


Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.


Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.


Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."


Doctor to his lady patient: "You look terribly weak and exhausted!
Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?" Lady replied: "Doctor, I thought you said three males a day."

[oldman35]

The Funniest Divorce Letter

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
Leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for
Seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
Called to tell me that you quit your job today and
That was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that
I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal
And even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You
Ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
Watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you
Love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that
Connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheat ing on me or you don't lov e me
Anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
Moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great
Life!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

[oldman35]

Reason!!
________________________________________
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

[oldman35]

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can
get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and
said, "About 2 hours." The guy left.


A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked,
"How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the
shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How
long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and
said, "About an hour and half." The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, d o me a favor.
Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has >to
wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back."

A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing >hysterically.

The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"

Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said.......

"Your house."

[tzed]

I like this thread, I love all the jokes here LOL, I don't have any to contribute. i just love reading jokes.

[david.adodis]

Great fun to read all these posts.In my opinion girl friend look for money,no money no girl friend, but wife looks for long relationship even we dont have money.

[Vovol]

Hi..oldman!

You have posted very humorous jokes!! I love them..Please do add some more..They are very nice and entertaining!

[ashtonfarell]

Hi there,

girlfriend is someone that u are usually getting to know to decide if it is someone you would make a commitment with.... wife is someone you vowed to be committed to for the rest of your life.

[jingles]

Lolzzzzzzzzz you all guys are same, i am really feeling happy to read this out.

[greenfin1]

OMG, you guys are really interesting, i really like the stuff you people have shared.

[aronwall]

I love the first thread about TV and handphone, that reminds me how I should spend some saving to treat my girlfriend just to watch fullmoon that I am not really enjoy

[bizwiz]

LOL! true, I sometimes confuse them both

[zenotom]

LOL, it keeps me laughing while reading your jokes. have some more.