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  • A blind man

    A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog."

    "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.

    "But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
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  • #2
    A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
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    • #3
      A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
      Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
      The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
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      Gilet par balles

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      • #4
        I should be proud of blind persons and their abilities to feel everything, but see nothing! Good joke and courage blind man in it!

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        • #5
          A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.

          When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.


          The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.


          The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"


          The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
          Gilet pare balles
          Gilet par balles

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          • #6
            Nice jokes.

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            • #7
              Its so amazing joke..thank you..
              A new joke...
              When u born..the clouds were parted.. Sun shined N God appeared infront of all people N said.."SORRY FOR THE MISTAKE" "KINDLY ADJUST"
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              • #8
                Nice Joke.. Feeling and touching powers of blind mans are really awesome..

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                • #9
                  good joke made my day
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                  • #10
                    really funny. I like this thread

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                    • #11
                      Funny leave letters

                      1. Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

                      2. From an employee who was performing the "head shaving" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

                      3. From an employee who has arranged his daughter’s marriage
                      "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

                      4. Leave letter for his mother in law’s funeral

                      "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

                      5. Employee seeking permission to go to funeral

                      Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o’clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

                      6. An incident of a leave letter

                      "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

                      7. A leave letter to the headmaster:

                      "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

                      8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

                      "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

                      9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

                      10. Another one:

                      "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

                      11. Actual letter written for application of leave:

                      "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

                      12. Letter writing: -

                      "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

                      13. A candidate's job application:

                      "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.
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                      • #12
                        Very funny man

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                        • #13
                          Theres a message in this joke
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